Monday, January 18, 2010

I got an antidote

ma called me thru phone just now. give me some motivation. the best things always comes from our mom rite?

ma said: ni jalan yg jah pilih, jah yg nak belajar.. jadi jah kena buat yg terbaik la. kalau malas kena lawan malas tu. jah da nak abes satu tahun. tggal satu tahun je lagi, dah score sem satu kena teruskan usaha.. lawan malas tu. ma doa ke jah sokmo.. 

ouhhh.. nak nanges nie.. haa nak nanges nie.. sob sob.. :'(
yupp! i choose this way, this is not the road not taken story!
this is my right way. i just need to fight the lazy feeling.

semangat kerajinannnnnn datangggglahhhhhh!!!

Sick #@$^&*!#>?

warghh.. i dont really know what actually happen to me rite now. sometimes, i question myself  why i always sick:(

okay, i woke up early this morning, solat then terus g mandi. lepas kemas katil i took my breakfast. as usual, 3 in 1 nes plus bread. hmm why i do not drink milk anymore while breakfast? just bcoz sometimes i felt sleepy around 9 to 10 o'clock. then i started to read journals. it was my routine, every morning i schedule my self to do my research and read as much journals as i can. sampai biol otak! to gain my knowledge absolutely!

just suddenly, i felt like i need someone, his or her ear and hear what i want to share. but please, be empathic person to me. no need to judge me or something that can makes me hurt. try to step on my shoes. please... anybody here?????

yesterday, during Dr Sidek class, we have been told that as a counselor, we must be a sanguin person, we must be a very empathic person, must be a congruence person and genuine person to others.. (act byk lagi yg kami kena jadi! s_ _ k!) but who will be all those criteria  person to us? directly i mean who will be that person to me? i always practices to be someone like these criteria to my family, my frens and also to my beloved one. but are they empathic to me?? i realized, most of the times they were the best person for me to get sharing what was my problems or my conflict that i am bring. but until when i will become like that?

i have an aim which is, i want to have skills of how to manage my conflict by myself. yes, absolutely i have that knowledge and skills of how to manage all those dark things by myself! but the question now is, why i cant practice it?? why?? i still need somebody to be my counselor, to be empathic, congruence and genuine person to me.
maybe because dentist cant pull out his or her teeth by their own self....

i love to tell here, eventho i am counselor plus counseling student, but i still a HUMAN.....
last night, i sms-ed my ma, and told her that i am sick, i am in dilemma, i always feel lazy. i request ma to always pray for me. 
i want successful in what i am doing now. this is a big part of my life. seriously. i have to go through all this smoothly and successfully!  
wish me LUCK and wish me to be a strong person.